I’m hurt, I’m lost, I’m dying inside….
I don’t know what to believe, I don’t know who should I trust….
I can’t fathom what’ll happen if anything more goes wrong, I can’t understand why did life even turn this way….!!
Why did you have to do this to me? Why did you have to break me thus??
It would have been better if you had hurt me with the truth…. But instead, you decided to kill me with your lies….
Why couldn’t you believe how much you meant to me? Why couldn’t you see what place you held in my life??
What you managed to see in so many years of being with me was just the tough exterior of me, the mask I made for myself… But despite being one of the very few who had the inkling of the circumstances that catalyzed this face of me, despite being one of those to have seen the softer side of me, why couldn’t you understand my heart, why couldn’t you see the true ‘ME’??
You say, I mean a lot to you; You say, I’m your closest friend; You say, you don’t wanna lose me…. Then why, why couldn’t you trust me to understand you???
Where did I go wrong to earn this slap? Yes, this was indeed like a ‘SLAP’ on my face!!
I’ve lost a lot in my life, I’ve been hurt by many… But still I lived…
I lived and I was even happy cuz somewhere the long lost child within me was still alive, the innocence, the purity still lingered somewhere deep, in my heart, in my soul…. I lived, and I was happy cuz I thought I had some great friends, some very beautiful people around me who understand me, care for me and even love me; I was happy because I thought I had YOU….!!
But oh, this cruel world!! Why can’t they let anyone be happy just for once?? Why are they so hell bent to kill even this tiniest part of me???
I’m stuck now, dying every single moment…. I’m confused, undecided if I should even trust anyone ever again….
I can no more find the strong girl I used to be…. I can no more muster the courage to fight this feeling of emptiness in my heart, to fight this loneliness which is overwhelming my very being, and keep going further….
I did everything in my power to protect myself from this hurt, from this excruciating pain but ah, I admit I failed….!!
And this failure has just broken me inside, sucking the life in me like a parasite….
Oh, how much I want someone to trust me blindly for once, have faith in my love for them… How much I want someone to hold me tight in their warm embrace, to wipe the tears threatening to fall from my eyes, to soothe me of this pain… How much I wish today for someone who would love me for what I am and not hate me for what I appear to be….!!
Let me live my life for once, enjoy this beautiful blessing in all its worth…I don’t know what to believe, I don’t know who should I trust….
I can’t fathom what’ll happen if anything more goes wrong, I can’t understand why did life even turn this way….!!
Why did you have to do this to me? Why did you have to break me thus??
It would have been better if you had hurt me with the truth…. But instead, you decided to kill me with your lies….
Why couldn’t you believe how much you meant to me? Why couldn’t you see what place you held in my life??
What you managed to see in so many years of being with me was just the tough exterior of me, the mask I made for myself… But despite being one of the very few who had the inkling of the circumstances that catalyzed this face of me, despite being one of those to have seen the softer side of me, why couldn’t you understand my heart, why couldn’t you see the true ‘ME’??
You say, I mean a lot to you; You say, I’m your closest friend; You say, you don’t wanna lose me…. Then why, why couldn’t you trust me to understand you???
Where did I go wrong to earn this slap? Yes, this was indeed like a ‘SLAP’ on my face!!
I’ve lost a lot in my life, I’ve been hurt by many… But still I lived…
I lived and I was even happy cuz somewhere the long lost child within me was still alive, the innocence, the purity still lingered somewhere deep, in my heart, in my soul…. I lived, and I was happy cuz I thought I had some great friends, some very beautiful people around me who understand me, care for me and even love me; I was happy because I thought I had YOU….!!
But oh, this cruel world!! Why can’t they let anyone be happy just for once?? Why are they so hell bent to kill even this tiniest part of me???
I’m stuck now, dying every single moment…. I’m confused, undecided if I should even trust anyone ever again….
I can no more find the strong girl I used to be…. I can no more muster the courage to fight this feeling of emptiness in my heart, to fight this loneliness which is overwhelming my very being, and keep going further….
I did everything in my power to protect myself from this hurt, from this excruciating pain but ah, I admit I failed….!!
And this failure has just broken me inside, sucking the life in me like a parasite….
Oh, how much I want someone to trust me blindly for once, have faith in my love for them… How much I want someone to hold me tight in their warm embrace, to wipe the tears threatening to fall from my eyes, to soothe me of this pain… How much I wish today for someone who would love me for what I am and not hate me for what I appear to be….!!
Let me feel the warmth of this bliss for once….
Let me be happy without any burden on my heart, without any regret just for a moment even if it’s the last, even if it means the end of this life………
Treading into the realms of life, Discovering myself.
It's a little difficult for me to believe that it was written by you, Nidhi...! :P
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I share the feeling! ;)
DeleteOh.. I see, you share your 'feelings' on a blog but not with your friend!! :P
DeleteOf course, you can't trust anyone these days!! :P
Delete